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Generally guys tend to want to skip over foreplay to get straight to sex. If, for instance, you're a guy and you try to go straight to intercourse, first of all you're going to have physical problems. The vagina has erectile tissue (like the penis) which needs to fill with blood to accommodate penetration. Otherwise penetration will be difficult and uncomfortable. Without foreplay her vagina won't have secreted any natural lubricant either, making penetration difficult, painful and possibly causing small tears in the vaginal tissue. Not good.On top of all this is the emotional readiness. If you try go straight from watching football to intercourse, you'll probably fail. Women like a lot of talking, mood setting and tenderness before sex. This gets her mind (the most important sexual organ, its often said) ready as well as her body.
There's a million different ways you can foreplay. Here we'll give you some basic ideas, but invent your own. Let your imagination run wild.
Talking / seduction
Unless you have magical powers of silent seduction, chances are sex will begin with some kind of conversation. You can discuss the things you like about each other, the qualities you like or some nice things they've done in the past. You can talk about what you'd like to do, or discuss some fantasy you could have together - imagine yourselves as strangers meeting on a tropical island and how and where you'd get together for some hot beach sex. Take turns directing the story and see how long you can hold out.
Kissing
Never underestimate the power of the kiss. A deep, passionate kiss can work wonders for blood flow. And deep doesn't have to mean deep tonguing, just deep and passionate. Save the tongue bath for the clitoris. Look deep into her eyes, run your fingers through her hair and down across her cheeks. Also don't just do this before sex. Do it any time, in the middle of the day, on the bus, when you're saying goodbye. If you only kiss passionately when you want sex, your partner may see kissing as a signal that you just want sex, not kissing.Spend a lot of time exploring kissing - nipping at lips and tongue, cheeks, earlobes, neck, fingers, hands, toes, the whole body.
Massaging
Probably the best way to lead from foreplay to sex. Give your partner a long, soothing, gentle, all over body massage and you'll both be yearning for sex.Concentrate on the back, neck and shoulders. As well as using your hands to soothingly caress these areas, lay down lots of kisses in between. For seriously good massaging, use massage oil, scented with your favourite fragrance. Its also fantastic for soothing aching muscles and keeping your body feeling good.Stay away from genital areas initially. Massage the whole body, brush near the genitals if you like, but don't touch them yet. You want to tease, tease, tease:
Teasing
Sometimes a quickie can be great, but generally, the more time you spend foreplaying, teasing, and not touching any genital area, the more fantastic the sex will be. Think of it like winding up a spring. The more you wind it up, the more spring you're going to get out of it.Say you're the woman and you want to tease your male partner. Spend a lot of time hugging and caressing his body, all over. Move close around his hips, legs, inner thighs. Brush over his penis but don't touch it. Go really close but don't touch! If he tries to drag your hands onto his penis, bat his hands away. Then keep going, teasing and teasing until you both can't stand it anymore. When you finally do touch him it'll be far more exciting for both of you.
For guys, use the same thing for your female partner. For instance, if you're planning on stroking her clitoris, the more time you spend caressing, massaging her whole body without touching her clit, the bigger the orgasm is going to be when you finally do touch her clit. Tease, tease, tease. Run your hands close to her clit and vagina but don't touch them directly. Do this for as long as you can. If she begs you to touch her clit or tries to drag your hand down there, don't. Don't give in. Tease her more.
So, here's a breakdown:
- foreplay, kiss, caress, massage
- brush your hands near her clit / labia / vagina but don't touch them directly
- massage hips, inner thighs, belly
- keep doing this for some time
- if she begs you to touch her clit, don't don't give in
if she tries to drag your hand onto her clit, don't
keep teasing and teasing and teasing
finally, after lots of teasing, start stroking her clit